“The Housemaid” (R, 131 minutes, in theaters) hurts so good.
Director Paul Feig’s thriller, starring Sydney Sweeney as a young woman with a dark secret who becomes the housemaid for a wealthy couple (Amanda Seyfried, Brandon Sklenar) with dark secrets, is comically bad.
You watch it in a kind of bafflement – Is this some devilish spoof of steamy thrillers or just another awful example of one? – and at some point realize that, whatever it is, it’s amusing.
And then it takes a turn for the better, raising the stakes to make the far-fetched story and characters even nuttier – in a smarter, more satisfying way.
Sydney Sweeney (left and right!) and Amanda Seyfried star in “The Housemaid.” (Lionsgate)
Millie Calloway (Sweeney), a homeless ex-con on parole, fakes a more acceptable background to land a live-in position with the Winchesters, Nina (Seyfried) and Andrew (Sklenar). Nina is the one who hires her, and during their one-on-one interview she seems like a sweetheart.
That changes the morning after Millie moves into the garret of the Winchesters’ large suburban home. Nina flips out, blaming Millie for misplaced papers, and it takes suave, ever-in-control Andrew to calm his wife down.
This becomes a pattern, but, because Millie is so desperate to keep her job (or she’ll go back to prison), she endures it. Besides, against her better judgment, she starts to dig the hubby.
Of course she does.
Cringy and contrived? You bet. But Seyfried’s wildly mercurial Nina and Sweeney’s sexy but clueless Millie make the film work on a camp level, while Feig (“Bridesmaids,” “A Simple Favor”) and screenwriters Rebecca Sonnenshine and Freida McFadden pull everything together for a fun finale. *** (out of four)
P.S. A fun fact: Feig and I both went to Chippewa Valley High School in Clinton Township, Michigan, though at different times (Feig is seven years younger than yours truly). Feig used his experiences at Chippewa – Go Big Reds! – as the basis for his and Judd Apatow’s short-lived but brilliant TV show “Freaks and Geeks,” which launched the careers of James Franco, Seth Rogan, Jason Segel and Linda Cardellini, among others.
Monkeyshines
Beware the rabid chimp.
That’s the big takeaway from “Primate” (R, 89 minutes, in theaters), a gruesome horror flick with a psycho simian and a few sick laughs.
It starts with college student Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) flying home to Hawaii with two friends, Kate (Victoria Wyant) and Nick (Benjamin Cheng), and one frenemy, Hannah (Jessica Alexander). Lucy is reunited at her family’s swank, cliffside abode with her widowed father, Adam (Troy Kotsur); younger sister Erin (Gia Hunter); and their domesticated pet chimp, Ben (Miguel Torres Umba). How domesticated? Lucy gives Ben his own stuffed Teddy bear!
Ah, but poor Ben has gotten nibbled by a sick mongoose, leaving him with a worrisome wound, a crazed look in his eye and a tendency to drool. Oh, and a tendency to rip people’s faces apart.
Ben and his Teddy bear in “Primate.” (Paramount Pictures)
Before the humans realize Ben’s not himself, however, Dad Adam, who’s an author, takes off for a book signing, leaving the youngsters to hang out by the outdoor pool.
It’s not long before Ben goes on a rampage – and, boy, does he. When it comes to mutilations and gore, Ben’s the Hannibal Lecter of killer critters. Director (and co-writer) Johannes Roberts (“47 Meters Down”) isn’t one to spare us the details, sometimes for comic relief. My favorite moment: After one victim falls off a cliff, landing upside-down and crushing the cranium, Roberts cuts to Ben, apparently busting a gut with laughter.
OK, so it isn’t “Citizen Kane,” or even “King Kong.” It follows a familiar formula: group of youths, most of the nubile variety + vicious slasher/monster = a series of slaughters and a sadistic good time.
It is suspenseful, though, largely because of Ben’s, um, volatility and Roberts’ ability to create tension. And then there’s the occasional “Did-that-really-happen?” brand of twisted humor. (Ben! You nut!!!)
If this type of gorefest is your cup of tea, you won’t want to miss it. ***
** Click here for Tim Miller’s previous movie columns for Cape Cod Wave **
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Tim Miller, Movie Critic
Tim Miller is co-president of the Boston Society of Film Critics and a Tomatometer-approved critic. He teaches film and journalism at Cape Cod Community College in West Barnstable. You can contact Tim at [email protected] or follow him onTwitter @TimMillerCritic. Or you can ignore him completely.
