FALMOUTH – We are bravely back, reporting again from the sometimes terrifying front lines of the interspecies war between turkeys and humans that erupted last year near the center of this idyllic New England town.
On Friday, we found six large turkeys munching organic free-range non-GMO farm-to-table premium government-funded turkey snacks, provided free of charge by the humans who built an island of grass in the Mullen Hall School parking lot. We are worried. It looked like espionage.
On the other hand, we are hungry. There were five dark turkeys, and one mostly white turkey. It made us remember that this is Thanksgiving week, turkeys taste good, and they have dark meat and white meat.
We can only imagine what the turkeys were thinking. We imagine they are preparing, once again, for battle.
We thought Thanksgiving week is a good time for this update on the newest generation of Falmouth turkeys, who we fear may be the offspring of a loyal intern of the notorious Tom, of last year’s disruptive Turkey Gang Of Falmouth.
For those of you who don’t remember, it was December of last year when we witnessed this Turkey Gang of Falmouth seemingly attack a mailman on Shore Street while he fended them off with a long stick and muttered, “Every day!”
That video appeared on the Today Show, the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and the CBS Evening News, among many other places. It has been viewed more than 1.6 million times.
Afterwards, state officials swooped in and grabbed the biggest of the male turkeys and sent him to turkey heaven. This, according to state officials, would “mitigate” the behavior of the rest of the birds.
And indeed, the turkeys mostly disappeared from view in downtown for several months. But they have reappeared again as something of a tourist attraction.
In fact, this brave correspondent will be so daring as to say it’s pretty cool to have them around. But, again, as state officials urge everyone, Please Don’t Feed The Turkeys.
That’s, apparently, how wars start.
— Brian Tarcy, Senior Turkey Correspondent
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See also an even lighter, less-informed take, Falmouth Turkey Wars, Leader Captured But The Occupation Continues
and the heroic, The Turkey Wrangler Of Main Street – VIDEO
and the famous Turkeys Attack Mailman ‘Every Day’ – VIDEO
and a glimpse into this future that we now live in, Wild Turkey With A Dozen Chicks – VIDEO
and, of course, the original, The Turkey Gang of Falmouth