Your hat will do plenty for you.
Also, surrounding your brain with the specialized performance fabric of this hat will more than double your intelligence. This will be clear to anyone who sees you wearing this hat, and it has also been proven by science.
But wait, there’s more.
These high end hats use a specialized shark repellant that guarantee you will not be attacked by a shark as long as you are wearing one while on dry land. This has not yet been proven by science, but we have hired two competing shark researchers to look into it.
We have, in fact, made hats great again. Shirts too.
You betcha. Featuring the Cape Cod Wave logo on the front and the slogan, “Salty Air Journalism” on the back, these shirts have been embedded with a new nanotechnology that gives anyone who wears it instant gravitas.
Just make sure to follow the directions when wearing it, or it won’t work.
Here is a hint. The sweet-looking silkscreened logo is on the front, and the slogan goes on the back.
There are two kinds of hats: all white, and gray with a blue bill. The embroidered Cape Cod Wave logo is particularly stunning.
There are currently three colors of shirts, blue, white and gray, and they come in Medium and Large.
So show the world that you are good looking, intelligent, and unafraid of sharks on dry land. Show the world that you have gravitas, and help support the kind of Cape Cod journalism that you love.